Just Me, Myself and I
Dear Professor Blackstone,
I am Keefe,
currently a first-year student studying Mechanical Design and Manufacturing
Engineering at SIT. I am writing this letter with the hope of providing you
with a better understanding of who I am.
I graduated
from Temasek Polytechnic with a diploma in chemical engineering. Subsequently,
I enlisted in the Army, and during my service, I decided to pursue a career in
the SAF as an Army Engineer. After several years of dedicated service, I was offered
a full-time study award to enhance my educational qualifications. Ultimately, I
chose to pursue this degree as I feel that mechanical design and engineering will
help me to build a strong foundation and I will be able to branch out to other specializations
if required.
During my
stint in the Army, I was often appointed to give presentations to VIPs, both
foreign and local. Though I still have areas for improvement, this drastically helped
me develop confidence in my public speaking abilities. A communication skill I feel
can be improved would be my over-explaining and lack of conciseness as I often find
myself rambling and using filler words while communicating with my peers.
My goal for
this module is to become a better active listener and be more succinct when
communicating. I feel that these skills will greatly benefit me in the future when
I return to the industry.
I feel that
after spending a couple of years in the workforce, I have gained invaluable
experience and developed useful skills such as problem-solving, report writing,
and adaptability, to name a few. I hope to utilize these skills to value-add my
journey here at SIT.
I hope this
has given you a better understanding of me and I look forward to your upcoming
classes.
Best Regards,
Keefe
Great Flow good insight to your introduction
ReplyDeleteHey Keefe,
ReplyDeleteI just want to start off by thanking you for serving our country, being a regular is not an easy task and it takes alot of sacrifice.
After reading your introuction, I feel there are a few points that can be improved. You could have elaborated more about what inspired you to sign on and more on your interest to make the letter more personal.
Overall I feel it was a great letter and I hope to hear more about your experiences in class.
Regards,
Benjamin Ong
Hi Keefe,
ReplyDeleteThe flow is good throughout the whole email and it states clearly what you want to let the professor know about you. It is nice to see that you have included what you have experienced and the problem you think you have. However, I think your sentence is always too long because you tend to continue a sentence using a lot of commas. Other than that everything is good.
Regards,
Jess
Hi Keefe,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, i salute you as a regular of the Singapore Armed Forces, regardless of your job in the army i believe that every single one of you are important in protecting our nation.
Moving on to your letter, i felt that your general flow of the email was good, going from Temasek Poly to the Army and subsequently to SIT, i felt that you could input some specific examples of things you've done in the Army to further add on to your points.( for example, which VIPs did you speak to or what it was about)
Lastly, i think you could also consider giving links back to how your goal of becoming "an active listener and be more succinct when communicating" will help you when you return back to this industry .
Best Regards,
SiewH
Dear Keefe,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear and concise letter. In it you effectively address all the key elements of the prompt. It's interesting for us to read about your journey, from being a chemical engineering student in poly to an army engineer and now an MDME student on a study award at SIT. At the same time, you shine a bit of light on your "appointment" in the army, with the task of presenting to various VIPs.
You make the statement that this helped build your confidence, but I'd like to know what traits you had demonstrated to your superiors to have them put you into such a position in the first place.
Your language use in this letter is fluent. I appreciate the effort.
I look forward to learning more about you in the coming months.
Best wishes,
Brad